"God Damn Useless Piece of Shit" Reportedly Working Fine Now
Trying to find humor and wisdom in a mad mad world
"God Damn Useless Piece of Shit" Reportedly Working Fine Now
Categories: Humor, 226 wordsSend feedback •OFFICE DEN, HOME — A “God Damn Useless Piece of Shit” or sometimes referred to a “Fucking Waste of Money” is now reportedly working just fine today. Yesterday, the “God Damn Piece of Shit” was reportedly “Fucking Broken” and “…not doing a fucking thing".
While not knowing the creators of the product, an accusation was made that the makers of the “God Damn Useless Piece of Shit” were a “bunch of fucking retards” and wouldn’t be capable of designing a “god damn hole in the wall". The person then alluded that he could “make a better fucking one in his sleep".
In addition, the operator of the “God Damn Useless Piece of Shit” noted that he would calm down if “…the fucking idiots that made this god damn thing died and burned in hell.”
The “God Damn Useless Piece of Shit” apparently began working properly, today, after it was determined that the electrical strip it was plugged into wasn’t, itself, plugged in. Regarding the cause of that, the operator noted “How the fuck should I know?”
It is currently unknown if the hole in the wall within the vicinity of the “God Damn Useless Piece of Shit” was the result of the operator yesterday or possibly because of the “Fucking waste of time” device that “should be thrown out the fucking apartment window” three weeks ago.
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Manchester United Signs Lebron James
Categories: Humor, Media and Popular Culture, 245 words1 feedback •MANCHESTER, ENGLAND – In what is being disputed as a mistake by the ownership and Head Coach Sir Alex Ferguson, the premier EPL team Manchester United has signed Lebron James to a deal worth 120 million pounds over the next 4 years.
Meanwhile, the Manchester United organization is attempting to determine how they signed the Basketball star in the first place. As of now, a misunderstanding is being blamed. “We are looking into how this could have happened,” stated Buck Darlington, spokesman for the Red Devils. “We recently hired a new scout and there are some signs pointing to inexperience being the cause.”
Manchester United has a high bar set for success and despite finishing second in the Premier League, there was little appreciation of the accomplishment especially in light of not making it to the Champions League Final or winning a domestic cup.
As a response, Alex Ferguson noted at a press conference that he told a new scout that he wanted him to go out and sign “the world’s greatest player” in order to become champions again. It is believed that this was misunderstood and Lebron James was signed.
Now with Lebron James, the Red Devils will have more depth at the Power Forward position, though some critics wonder how valuable that would actually be.
Chris Grant of the Cavaliers noted, “It is sad to see our organization lose such a talent, but we wish him the best in his new venture in English Football.”
