BlogTopia (now with 11% more blog)

COREL GABLES, FL - Gatorade announced that were ending their sponsorship deal with Tiger Woods when it became apparent that there were other sponsorship deals Woods was involved with.

“We are sad to announce the termination of our relationship with Tiger Woods,” noted Gatorade spokesman Cal Witherington. “We were proud to sponsor Tiger Woods, however, we have had word that there are other products that he was endorsing.”

Indeed, over the weekend, events unfolded where people read a magazine or watched television and noticed Tiger Woods appearing in a large amount of ads. Upwards to 34 companies have stepped forwards claiming to have endorsed Tiger Woods at one time or another. According to Nielsen Ratings, Tiger Woods is currently involved in approximately 18 product endorsements.

“We thought what we had with Woods was special. It hurts us to end the relationship, but we need to move on to a more faithful athlete.”

Tiger Woods has yet to come out of seclusion to acknowledge or apologize for any of his actions regarding his sponsor adultery.

“Tiger Woods will end nearly three months of silence Friday when he speaks publicly for the first time since his middle-of-the-night car accident sparked stunning revelations of infidelity.”

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It looks like Tiger Woods will broadcast his first public apology over the outing of him putting his penis into numerous vaginas… most of which weren’t his wife’s. Personally, while I think putting your penis into the wrong vagina is morally reprehensible, I don’t really care if Woods apologizes because it is about his image and trying to get back on the platinum pony.

What I think he should apologize for is their weakest ass bullshit cover up story about how a lucid male athlete could drive a car into a fire hydrant, at a speed that didn’t deploy the air bags and leave him near unconscious… with windows being bashed out on the car from a golf club driver that his wife decided to use to help save her husband from the disastrous crash… right in front of their home.

Yeah, I think they both owe all of us an apology for that!

WASHINGTON DC – It has been reported the President Barrack Obama saw his shadow today. While going outside to a meeting, the President saw his shadow and quickly ran back into the White House. This indicates just 11 more months of Democrat majorities in Congress.