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SOUTH CAROLINA – Current Governor, and up to now, a favorite among Republican hopefuls for the 2012 Republican nomination for losing the 2012 Presidential election, Mark Sanford admitted today to putting his penis into the wrong vagina. “I need to admit that I put my penis into the wrong vagina. It was wrong and for that I’m sorry. I apologize to my wife for not putting my penis into her vagina instead. I apologize to my sons of whom I’ve now taught that ‘moral men’ put their penises into immoral places. And I apologize to all people of faith in South Carolina. Not over the penis thing, but just because I suck so much as a Governor.

“I developed a relationship with what started as a dear, dear friend from Argentina. It began very innocently, and only consisted of casual meaningless cybersex, as I suspect many of these things do, in just a casual cybersex e-mail back and forth. But here recently, over this last year, it developed into something much more than that. Hardcore penis in vagina stuff.”

Mark Sanford’s wife noted, “I believe in a faith that requires forgiveness as we all commit sins and all sins carry the same angry vengeance from our loving god. My husband committed a terrible sin, but I’m just thankful he put that penis into a vagina and not some guy’s anus… that’d been a worse sin.”

Governor Sanford joins former NY Governor Elliot Spitzer who also put his penis into the wrong vagina, however, in his case he paid specifically for that wrong vagina and choose to resign when it got out.