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THE MOON – The freakish 8-2 victory of the Mole People of the Moon over Argentina in the World Cup Qualifier has made FIFA rethink whether it should end it’s lifting of the gravitational ban. Critics of lifting the ban cite that the severe drop in gravitation and the complete lack of an atmosphere unduly punishes players not from the Moon.

The Mole People, native to the Moon, don’t need to breath air and are acclimated to the much lower pressure and gravity. The Argentinians suffered throughout the game, having arrived just one hour before the start due to the lack of any actual air on the Moon.

The irony, however, is that some people have lobbied for matches on the Moon, including Argentinian head coach, Diego Maradona. “You can only play where you were born,” noted the former football great. “I can’t particularly blame the lack of gravity, atmosphere and the fact that are players had to where suits to protect themselves from the lack of air pressure for losing the game. The Mole People just outplayed us.”

Scientists doubted how little the science could affect performance. “As seen in the game, any curved shot attempted, just went wide because there was no friction with the air to bend shots,” noted football enthusiast and astrophysicist Kip Thorne. “Argentina must of shot 25 shots wide of the net. In addition, the greatly reduced gravity made it easier for the small Mole People to kick harder shots. It exaggerates their ability.”

The Mole People’s record on Earth demonstrates that as they have yet to actually score a goal in the 42 games played on Earth.

FIFA is currently reviewing whether gravitation should be a concern when determining future football match locations. With that much undecided, it does seem very unlikely that the Mole People’s attempt to hold the FIFA World Cup on the Moon in 2018 will succeed.