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Well, it is nice to see that McCain could stay above the fray and not get in pandering a specific group voters. Oh wait… no he didn’t. Yes, we know that Sarah Palin has enough experience from her 1.5 years (and 2 investigations already) as Governor of the state of Alaska, to take charge if something happened to McCain. We know that because she has 5 children, she must know how to run a country because running home is so like running a country. And we all know that because one of her children has Down Syndrome, that it must mean she is perfect for the role to obtain grumpy Hillary Clinton supporters… despite the fact that most Clinton supporters are fervently pro-choice… not pro-life as Palin is. She is also pro-ID in the science classroom… meaning she is probably a creationist which happens to be ignorant breed of theist.

I guess it wasn’t enough to have a historical ticket for the Democrats. The Republicans had to invent one too. But honestly, wasn’t there some other woman more capable of the VP role than Sarah Palin… oh yeah, you couldn’t do Olympia Snowe (though she is pro-choice) or any other moderate Republican woman with terms of experience in government, because the Republicans couldn’t afford to lose another seat in the Senate. So they needed to find a woman who was Governor. But of Alaska? The most corrupted Republican state in the union?

Some say McCain hit a homerun… hopefully enough people will see this nomination for what it is, mindless pandering for votes that was electorally convenient.

Juneau, AK — McCain stunned the political world today when he announced that the state of Alaska would be his running mate for the upcoming election this November.

“Energy policy is going to be crucial and the state of Alaska will be important for our integration into a new world energy policy,” stated McCain in front of press corp in Arizona.

Alaska gains some prominence as being the first state to be named by a major party for the Vice Presidential nomination. In 1860 Brigham Young ran an unsuccessful bid as President in a little known third party with the territory of Utah as his running mate… Later, he tried to marry the territory of Utah, but that was later overturned by the Supreme Court ruling Young v United States in 1878.

While some in the Republican corners are elated with the decision, there have been some problems already noted with the nomination. At over 600,000 square miles in size, it will be nearly impossible for the VP running mate to accompany McCain on any campaign trips. In addition, if something were to happen to McCain and Alaska would need to assume the Presidency, the entire capital in DC would need to be moved to Alaska to accommodate Alaska’s inability to move very fast.

In addition, some criticisms have been made regarding Alaska’s age in the Union. Originally purchased in 1867 in a drive by Secretary of State William Seward, Alaska has only been a state for 51 years. Many are criticizing McCain for choosing such a young state when many other states available had more than two centuries of experience, this is especially in light of McCain criticisms of his opponent Obama being too inexperienced himself.

Frankfort, KY – Many months ago, Dalton Hatfield of Kentucky sold his bike and video games and then sent the proceeds to Hillary Clinton for her presidential primary bid. The sum of $422 was larger than the typical donation by Clinton supporters. The donor’s age was also much lower than the typical Clinton voter.

Sadly, Dalton Hatfield, disillusioned by what he witnessed on Wednesday, feels that Hillary Clinton owes him his video games and bike back. “I was watching CNN, and I saw her appear on the floor. It was amazing… then she made a movement to nominate Obama by a voice vote. I was thinking, what the fuc…” Hatfield was visibly disturbed by the change of events.

“Does Clinton think money grows on trees for me? I gave away those games and bike for her to be President, not so that she could make some illustriously fake generous movement to nominate Obama.”

For Dalton Hatfield, he will now need to walk the six miles to school, instead of cycling on his bike. The trip will take 4 times as long, and in the winter, it’ll be much colder for much longer. “I knew that by selling my bike, I could stay warmer in the winter with the thought that my money put her over the top. Now, I’ll be tramping through snow thinking what a dumbass I was.”

Hatfield’s parents are pondering what legal options they have. “My son had a contract with Clinton. He said that this money is yours to become the nominee, not so that you could nominate the other person. I feel so bad for my son. He misses playing Grand Theft Auto so much.”

Calls to Hillary Clinton’s office went unsuccessful because we have no idea what state she has her home office in.

Link

Today in Guantanamo Bay, a jury of six Military Officers voted unanimously to convict the mastermind of 9/11 on all charges, some that could mean the death penalty could be levied against the mastermind of 9/11.

Since his capture, the mastermind of 9/11 and the general symbol of al Qaeda, the US has fought hard to convict him in a court of law. And finally, just shy of 7 years since the 9/11 attack, the US has achieved it’s goal.

“This is a vindication of our holding out for doing what is right, we have given justice and closure for the victims and their families of the atrocious attacks on 9/11,” said somebody that looked official looking.

Had the mastermind been found not guilty of the charges, he wouldn’t have been kept in confinement indefinitely.

Just to make it clear, the above is not from the link.

Yeah… like that and stuff. *sigh*

Link to story

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is calling for a $1,000 “emergency” rebate to consumers to offset soaring energy costs.

Obama says the rebate would be financed with a windfall profits tax on the oil industry.

“This rebate will be enough to offset the increased cost of gas for a working family over the next four months,” Obama said in remarks prepared for delivery Friday at a town hall meeting in the crucial swing state of Florida.

Great. Just wonderful. Yes, some families the energy costs are an issue, though I’d say a rebate would be more important on heating (in the very cold) or cooling (in stifling heat) a home, not fueling a car. I drive on the highway, and see cars zooming by me, every time. Car driving behavior hasn’t changed much on the road, despite oil going up. But Obama wants to just give people money. Cars need to be driven more efficiently, homes need to be warmed and cooled more efficiently. The government, if they are to hand out money, should be doing so to those making an effort to reduce their energy footprint. I got to a save a whomping $30 or $40 on my taxes last year for reducing my heating needs by approximately 40%, it cost me $1750 to do. Technically, no one even knew, at the time, whether the Honda Insight, qualified for a deduction, probably would have saved around $80 on my taxes on that investment. Got a high efficiency furnace… nothing came from that. The government should be rewarding efforts to save energy, not just trying to stick fingers into a leaking dike.

So Obama proposes giving every dumbass $1000, not just the people making a conscious effort to help reduce America’s dependance on energy. That’s fucked up. Here is $1000 so you can drive all you want on the road, as fast as you want. Heat the homes at a 60% efficiency rate. Who fucking cares, we’ll just tax the oil companies more!