Gingrich, Santorum, Romney, Paul are all that remains of the campaign as we've had another weak link throw in the towel.

Newt Gingrich

Gingrich is running on a anti-DC establishment platform that believes poverty can be eliminated by telling blacks that they get paychecks if they have a job (modeled much like Reagan's "Just say no to drugs" campaign squashed drug use in America). Gingrich's message resonates among the base in the South because many of them don't like black people. Also, they don't like DC politics... which is why they are supporting the former Speaker of the House and the guy that was paid hundreds of thousands to consult with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac about who to talk to in Congress to get the stuff they want, during the run up to the housing bubble burst. He gained lots of points for pointing out that Romney is out of touch with the common man because he is rich... which Gingrich also happens to be. Linguistic Experts at John Hopkins University reported yesterday that it is impossible to tell if Gingrich is using sarcasm and announced that Poe's Law will be renamed Gingrich's Law.

Rick Santorum

Santorum is running as God's candidate. His platform is one of strict adherence to the biblical law, or at least the parts he has underlined in his bible that he thinks matters most. While God has not yet endorsed a candidate, if he did, Santorum would likely be the one... assuming Yahweh is God.

Mitt Romney

Romney is running on a platform that he is a successful business man and therefore will know how to run a country. He has been silently dogged by being a Mormon, and the Governor of Massachusetts. Much like Gingrich, Romney will take whatever position is necessary in order to be elected. He was pro-choice in Massachusetts, now he is pro-birth. What may dog him the most is that he thought all people in Massachusetts should have health care. The Republican base hates such an idea that all people can be as free of pain and illness as possible.

Ron Paul

Paul is still in the race, in the sense that he hasn't quit. Paul has a bunch of great ideas, most of which aren't that great. Worst off, he is anti-big military (one of his actually good ideas), but he might as well have sex with the sister/wives of each guy in the South, as not being pro-military means you hate Baby Jesus. Paul was seeing his polling increasing, but in the end it stopped because his message just doesn't sound good to the Republican base. However, Paul supporters are still strongly behind him, certain of his eventual nomination via passive aggressive postings on web boards.

Review

With the resurgence of Gingrich, again, the story of who wins is in a bit of doubt. If Gingrich can win South Carolina, he can continue to tell people whatever they want to hear, which will lead to potential leads in the Super Tuesday primaries. Of course, plenty of time between now and then, so it is clearly too early to tell, not because we don't know who the best candidate is, but because the Republican Base is so mentally challenged, they have become as predictable as quantum foam. I'm still waiting for Romney to use the following on Gingrich in a personal attack in a debate, after Gingrich is yammering about the sanctity of marriage. "You know Newt, based on your record as a husband, I'm surprised you didn't want to be a Mormon."