Jon Huntsman - The Manchurian Candidate

Former Ambassador to China, Jon Huntsman is putting every egg (all two of them) in to the New Hampshire Primary basket. Huntsman's career appeals to New Hampshire because they like candidates that think for themselves... oh wait... that is Vermont. A good showing for Huntsman would help propel him to dropping out after Super Tuesday instead of before.

Rick Santorum - The NSFW Google Candidate

The latest Supernova Republican primary candidate to take a charge at Romney. His positions are all very conservative, he thinks we should bomb Iran and get rid of birth control. A very conservative Catholic, Santorum's election would lead to him appointing the Pope as his Secretary of Defense.

Knowing his brand of whacky conservative moral values isn't prized in New Hampshire, Santorum is skipping the state in order to try and win the hearts, minds, and any other part of the body he feels the Government has the right to control. Don't expect much out of Santorum in New Hampshire.

Mitt Romney - The Winning Candidate

Romney made a fortune by being a real life Gordon Gekko. He promises to help save the American economy by using his skills acquired by being a business man who made millions by destroying corporations through parasitic means. Mitt Romney is going to win the candidacy. He'll win New Hampshire and he'll win South Carolina, but pundits will say that he didn't win by enough. He did and he will continue to.

Rick Perry - The George W. Bush Candidate

The only difference between Rick Perry and George W. Bush is that Perry is actually a Texas boy. His speaking, government performance, hypocrisy however, matches W so well, some are wondering whether W is actually just wearing a disguise. Immediately after joining the race, he took the lead over Romney, being the first Supernova Candidate, and had great evangelical support. However, he opened his mouth and thinks that children shouldn't be the victims of angry White people.

His support has deflate and the biggest question remaining about Perry's support is why are they 5% still supporting him? A weak performance could very well not mean anything because Perry can't find New Hampshire on the map and has resorted to campaigning in South Carolina, a state that holds stupidity and ignorance as noble attributes.

Newt Gingrich - The Establishment Candidate

Newt Gingrich is trying to put DC straight. He's the man to take the leadership role because he knows how to solve all of these DC problems because he was in Congress when the snowball started leading America to these problems. He was the third Supernova candidate in the primary race.

Gingrich is the master salesman, working on getting anti-DC Tea Party support despite being an institution of DC and evangelical support despite being an absolute piece of immoral slime. Rumor has it, he was able to convince Barack Obama that he was actually born in Kenya. That is power!

Gingrich's one weakness, however, is that while he has great name recognition, that also comes with the baggage of people knowing he is an absolute ass. A good performance in New Hampshire is likely to follow a good performance in South Carolina, which would eventually lead to his candidacy. He won't have a good performance in New Hampshire, but that won't stop him from claiming that he had a moral victory and is on pace to take South Carolina.

Ron Paul - The Ron Paul Candidate

The alleged Libertarian candidate who believes the States should have the right to reserve civil rights among the people, not to have the Federal Government usurp that power. He is against the drug war, foreign wars, the Fed, the Patriot Act, the 14th Amendment, and about 225 years of Constitutional Law.

He has supporters more dedicated to him than The Grateful Dead. A strong performance in New Hampshire is guaranteed because his performance will be spun any way necessary by his followers because Ron Paul is great!