Major League Baseball is pondering establishing new rules with the current labor agreement coming to an end.  Here are some of the ideas they have been pitching around:

• Increase the chances of a game-changing balks.
• Improve fan interaction by letting the crowd be involved in pitch selection and judge on instant replays
• Expand playoffs to include 4 wild card teams instead of 1, just to screw with the schedulers who have to figure out how to have a playoff system with an odd number of teams.
• Random on the field HGH drug testing during In-Field Fly Rule pop-ups.
• Change the schedule without letting the Yankees or Mets know.
• In case of a tie after nine innings, just end the game because it is likely the outcome won't matter anyways because the season is one hundred sixty-fucking two games long!!!
• Replace the title Designated Hitter (DH) with the title Designated Guy Who Can't Field (DGWCF).
• Allow the fielding team to score runs by pelting the players at bat and base runners with the ball.
• Have an Annual Tribute to Teachers Day where elementary and secondary level teachers are allowed free admission to the ball game to be reminded that their arduous efforts go unappreciated by society as the people in front of them get paid hundreds to thousands of times more money to hit and catch a ball.
• Introduce a new pledge where players and owners say to themselves that Baseball is still the American Pastime and hasn't been maginalized and replaced by the NFL.